Today is a great day. I dont spend enough time at home. Right now, I'm just chillin in my room, listening to music, reading a book, writing. I'm planning to watch a movie that I haven't had the time to do since I started work. I haven't spent more than two to three hours awake in my room since highschool, when I was forced to stay at home and study.
I have this predicament. I love going out. I just can't stay at home. There's always something to do, someone to see somewhere, some place to hang out, just some place to go where it's so much more exciting.
Today I'm chillin at home. Wow, its really relaxing. I didn't realise that I was so tired. Tired of the buzz, tired of the people, the outside world. I wonder why i dont do this more often.
I think it's just a phase, heh, in awhile I'll be up and at it again. I know too many people who never go out, who are home at any given moment. I have this image of people who are home all the time. The picture expands in my head, alone at home, watching TV, when there's nothing on reading the news paper, and idling just sitting there and doing nothing.
That's something I fear most, boredom, sitting there and doing nothing. Staring at the wall. I hate that. I need to go out, I need to see people walking around, I need to see the cars movin around. Not necessarily to be invited to the hippest parties, though it is nice. Not to be where "the" people are, but just to be out, not to be at home.
Home is a jail, home is a boring place that you go to when you wanna sleep. Home is just someplace you go to when you have nowhere to go.
I know that this is just something that I'm thinking right now. I know that one day my home will be a place of great relaxation, somewhere that I'll love to be. Perhaps it the fact that I've always moved around, and my room, my house isn't really my house. It's not really where I grew up, , it's not the place I'm going to be in the near future, I'm going to move, I'm going to leave this place, not much point getting attached. It's not really a place that I feel completely confortable.
I can't really put my finger on it, but today, I just feel like I've been away for too long, I haven't really enjoyed my house. I think I'm going to do that now. At least for awhile. Kisses.
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It's just like anything else...when we do one thing for two long, a whole other environment just seems so much more appealing. Home is comfy at times so that's why it appeals to you when you're drained out and just want to get away from the outside world for a bit. It'll wear off. I think I'm ok to have a balance between going out and home maybe because I have work to throw into the mix.
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