I dont know why this always happens to me. I meet new people, we talk, it goes good, things seem great, almost perfect, then as the rumbling of a live volcano, things just start changing.
I have no idea what happens, but I have reason to believe that it's because of me. I think I have a phobia. I think that I am scared shit of going further, of knowing or letting know too much, of being too close to someone.
I hate to say this but the reason things always work out with me and other people, is because I put in immense effort into making the situation perfect, and perhaps I am very well aware of that I am trying.
The other party may or may not feel nor notice, in fact, how much effort I put into it because they feel completely comfortable. I know that saying that I am the one creating the perfect atmosphere is unfair, snobbish, and arrogant, but why then that when my effort level drops even the slightest amount, do things stop working out?
I take the time and effort to call and fire up a coversation, I take the time, effort, and resources to drive across town to make a visit. Most important of all, I sacrifice all other aspects of life and put full, unabridged attention unto you, so that nothing influences the process of our relationship.
I dont like to whine, but what happens when I stop - you know, forget what happens when I stop, what happens when I pause?
I'll tell you what happens, nothing, nothing happens.
This shows that you are not taking the effort that I am taking, you care less about the situation than I. What more can I say? And am I at fault to feel discouraged?
You dont call to talk, you call to check up or just say hi, well...HI! TO YOU TOO!
You dont visit me, I know it's because of inconvenience transportation, and a billion other excuses that you could give me.
There is no such thing as excuses... it's either you really wanna see me, or you dont.
when I really wanna see someone, I see them. There's no two ways about it. There's nothing more I'm going to say about this.
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I know exactly what you mean. I am always wanting to make new friends, and when I meet great people, I seem to be the one putting all the effort into relationship building. I will go out with people a few times, but if after that they don't ask me to go out or if they don't call me, I will not bother anymore because I don't want to feel that I'm annoying them. People only seem to ask me out to do stuff after they have known me for awhile, but it is almost impossible for me to be with the same people for more than a few months because I am always changing class, jobs etc.
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