The Way He Is

It interests me, the way people behave, the way people hold themselves. So many people in the world just can't express what they feel, or they depress what they feel. I am contemplating whether this is a good thing.

I know a man who speaks everything he has on his mind, he whines, he complains, he express his joy, and happiness most freely, he's like a boy running through an eternal field, the wind blowing towards him, through his hair, arms spread wide as if flying through the wind alone. He expresses his every emotion, regardless of the consequences.

I know a man who reserves his every thought, he can find no words, no expression to what he feels, though he deeply feels. You can tell that a world of thoughts is speeding through his head, sometimes these thoughts stop and make him feel, whether it be overly joyus, or maniac depression.Only if you look closely, if you feel his breath, his body, look deep into his eyes, listen for that feeling to slip through his unemotional words, only then are you able to receive a jist of what going on inside. A simple "how are you", a sigh if you listen closely, you can hear it. You will know, that there's so much in there that he's effortlessly denying to express.

I know a man who has perfect control of portraying his heart, his emotions, his feelings. Some things best kept to himself, somethings, expired into his surroundings. Saying the perfect sentence to what he feels, never over expressing, never not at all.

I believe that people behave in these different ways because this is the way they have trained themselves for protection. The man who speaks his every thought feels that he needs people to hear what he feels. The man who speaks nothing, knows that whether he says anything or not, he will still feel this way. The man who says the perfect things knows that there are some things that people need to hear and some things that people dont need to hear.

At first galnce, you'd think that anyone would rather choose the man who expresses himself perfectly. I though, am contemplating the latter two. To a certain degree, I fear perfection.

Sometimes I feel that though it's hard to know nothing about a man, it's better that way. Perhaps the feeling of uncertainty sparks my curosity. I want to know more, I want you to tell me everything you feel, but I dont want you to change. Maybe the fact that onlyI have the privilige to know what this man feels attracts me to him, makes me feel that I'm special to him.

Perhaps it's like the light shining through the crack of the doorway in a dark room. You know there's light on the other side, but only through the cracks it shines through to you.You urge impaitently to know more.

Sometimes it's frustrating to not know, it's definitely easier to know the perfect amount. But it stops being interesting. Soon you will know everything, and there will be nothing more.

I fear perfection because once you're perfect, there's nothing better, only worse.