Sunday The Continued

Sunday, new found lovers flaunt for lunch dates, intercepted by two others who decided to join. Date it is not longer. Mr. B calls me, I pass it to my couz. They spark up a conversation. I start giggling. It's cute, I greatly respect and support the people my couzez are into, even if the guy annoys da hell outta me.

But Mr. B, damn - he's of another species. A year ago, I might have leaped at the opportunity, knowing someone like Mr.B would be the pride of the land. I'd show manipulations twisted to the bone. I took a look at Mr.B, I thought - perfect - perfection scares the shit outta me. I despise perfection.

I figured, well, if I'm not interested, not point wasting the handsome face. Encouraging my couzez to go for it, not to be reluctant. If it works then it does and if it doesn't, oh well.

This Sunday I planned to play basketball. All the stress, the bits and pieces of pain I swallow build up and I need to let it go. I play. I play and play and play. I invited HL and Zt to join me. Reluctantly they did.

I was glad that they were able to share that time with me. I felt the love. They hate basketball, they would never play. This Sunday, they did. Thank you. It means alot to me that they were able to meet a loyal friend of mine. I would have done the same.

I met Yf and Au on another court. We played, we chatted. It was good. We arranged for a quick dinner with my cousins, those two and I. Then had a chat session later on. I'm honored to be one of the first of friends to Yf in this country, foreign to his own, friendship is treasured.

On another note, there is a friend that I have missed for almost a week now. I wonder where he has gone, until yesterday I thought he might have died. I guess sometimes when people get bored of other people, they make like their dead and perhaps other people may start to believe.

For a week I've been trying to contact him, to no avail. First I thought that he didn't hear the call, but as the week went on, I figured that couldn't be it. The guy that gets a million and one calls every hour, left his phone for a few days? I think not.

Then I figured he probably went out of town. Right. He had classes, lots of assignments, and tests and he went out of town. My cousin consoled me, perhaps he's showering...uhhhHA! He took a 48 hour long shower, that must be it!

Alright, alright, he probably dropped his phone in the river, no he left it in his room, and went out...for three days...I think he's dead, that reason is easier. Damn.

I confirmed his much aliveness last night. I was disappointed that he'd just make like he's dead, but I guess that's how it should have been. Afterall he's the one who told me. Dont say it, just do it. No point telling someone that you no longer want to talk to them, no point talking to them if you have nothing to say, if there's nothing you want from them. *sigh*

It's at these times that irony overfills my life, and I think twice about doing things that would affect other people. It's times like these that I look back and reflect. It's at times like these that I realise that I deserve this. That I deserve to be hurt.

I wish that he could tell me what I did wrong, I wish he could tell me why I couldn't be a friend to him. I wish that he'd tell me something. I wish he's tell me that I was a bitch, or mean, or stupid or something. At least I'd know why he decides not to be a friend to me. Am I not a good friend to you?

Am I such that you fear to befriend me? I dont think that I'm a bitch, I dont think that I'm mean. I respect your veiws, I apologise when I do something wrong. Why do you ignore my mere existance?

*sigh*