Is the happiness still here? It's been a few days....usually it goes away, usually I think of all the bad things that are going on and I sulk at them and I feel that everything is going wrong.
Is happiness still here? Yes it still is! I'm still happy. But I realise that I have no one to share it with. Who is here to share these wonderful moments in my life? Who really cares that I'm working my arse off, and what I'm achieving. Perhaps my parents, but then again, as long as I'm not emabrassing them or asking them for money, they're happy about everything that I do.
Has my life resulted to dependence on man? Do I always have to have a guy there to share my thoughts with? To share my life with?
No one will ever know me. It's too late for that, there's not one person who has gone through life with me, there's not one person who has been with me through thick and thin, there's not one person who would ever be able to know nor understand me to the root. I feel so spread apart, I dont belong, there's no place for me, in anyone, in any place.
But that's okay, we become accustomed to having no one, or always having people who are going to leave. I cant say that I'm not the independent gal. I also cant say that I dont need anyone, I do need someone, everyone needs someone. Whether it be a guy or a gal. People need other people. I need someone whom I can share my world, and know that they're not going to leave with my hopes and dreams, happiness and pain.
I've given so much of me to people that I trusted would be there for me when I really needed them. Why did they go? Why did they take my thoughts and go?
Dont you know that I gave you all of me? I entrusted you with all my weakness, hoping that you would hold on to them and make me strong. Dont you know that it's gone now. Dont you realise that you have taken it away from me?
So often I have to start again, so often I'm let down. Is there anyone in this world? Anyone there just for me?
echez
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I guess we have led similar lives - moving around a lot, leaving people, people leaving us. To deal with this, I've led myself to believe that people are in our lives at certain times for a certain reason. Then when they leave or when you leave, you may have changed as a person and don't really need them anymore. Sure, you will miss them initially, but maybe if they stuck around you would never have grown? I hope I'm making sense. Then again, it doesn't mean that when I see those friends again I won't talk to them because I'm at a different stage of my life and don't "need" them anymore.
ReplyDeleteHhhmm, maybe to explain myself in a simpler way, I could say that when people leave, view it as the end of a chapter and a beginning of a new one with new people.
Having people around is great. In fact, I'm happiest when my social life is packed and I'm making good friends, new connections. But I can't depend on the same people to be around me forever, especially if I want to travel and live in New York.
But anyway, I do miss you heaps!!!
It would be nice to have someone who's been with you all your life. Someone that knows all your stories, and why you are the way you are. ometimes expalaining just doesnt cut it.
ReplyDeleteIt's true that people in our lives are just a character in our developement, but wouldn't it be nice ot have someone there that just knows. No explaination needed.
Anyway, oh well...life's just like that.