What Went On

Finally completed my optional paper. I took a Sunday and 3.5 days from work to study for the paper...In other words I have a great reason to believe that I flunked the paper, horribly.

Anyhow it's over now and you all know how much I like to dwell over the past.
i.e.Ok, Next Topic - Life Goes On!

So the next topic, much like the previous topics is about love and life. I think I'm going to be on these topics alot, so leave now if you're not interested. This blog is not about you, it's about me looking at you!

Last night I had a tremendously long conversation with a guy through the phone. It was quite interesting. We talked, about love...and life. He had this amazingly sexy voice, a sensitive manner, and of course flatteringly sweet words.

It's easy to hear good things about yourself, you know you shouldn't indugle in what people say about you, you'd probably bloat, and explode after awhile. But I couldn't resist, I have to say I had a good time.

Now that I think about it though, is it wrong to have a passionate conversation, (dont get me wrong, not phone sex, nor anything of the sort, perhaps just deep, sensual, a real heart to heart), with another person if you are currently in a relationship?

Or would it be a just friends thing? Is it wrong to trust a person, more than you trust your partner? Or consult with someone regarding your personal problems, this person not being your partner?

I know that some of these answers lie with the individual, and what the couple sees the relationship as.

There are people who respect the fact that we all have secrets and respect the fact that there were friends before them and there will be friends after them, and that though both tell each other alot of things, there are some things that can only be shared with friends, rather than partners.

And there are people who need desperetly need to know each and every detail of their partner since birth. I write this in utter fear, fear of being bound by secrets that I shouldn't have released from my grip to begin with.

It's hard to let go and entrust people with your secrets, when there is a definite possibility of relationships going sour. We see it all the time, when the wallowing dies down, the fear begins.

He'd probably blurt out all my secrets just to hurt me. All that I confided in him has disappeared in an instant. Which also brings us to, a frequent question, did he actually love me? And if he did, how can that love suddenly disappear?

Now you know why love is but an illusion?