Breaking Up

by echez
Uploaded 27th Nov 2001

When anger overcomes you, you cannot control your fury, every harsh word in your system is released, you think not nor do you feel what she is feeling, as your heart becomes lighter hers fills with anger and the full fledged love she had for you is suffering from the frostbitten horror of your thoughts, your feelings, those things you promised yourself you would not ever mention to her but that you'd keep and accept. All of the things that you have accepted before, you can't anymore, you feel that every movement she makes gives you grief and it is all just a horrendous sight.

You shoved your love into the half frozen sea and watched her freeze and drown. Only then did you realize that she was the lifeline to your heart. She was the reason happiness dwells in your heart on those lonely nights. These nights when you think back at her, your regret flames inside you, you wonder why you allowed yourself to be like so, but no one is to blame. Just you.

What happens next? Your only love, gone and it's entirely your fault. You can only live with the mistakes that your stupidity has allowed. You're sad and you don't know what to do. She doesn't want to see you ever again, she says "we can be friends" but her speech is cold. She says everything is okay, you know they're not. You wonder what happened to all the love you two felt before, where it has disappeared to and why it won't come back.

Possible Reasons

One of the reasons this girl's feelings have become somewhat cold is because this is a self-defense mechanism. To avoid further hurt and disappointment, the person becomes defensive and may even end up being unkind and cold. One of the most essential things to understand is that this is simply self-preserving mechanism.

Often, we tend to think that we are in fact terrible people and that perhaps there is something wrong with ourselves, but this is never the case. The way that this girl reacts is something she has to do to carry on with her life. It is important for one to understand this, for only when we can accept that we have made a mistake and that we have to face the outcome of the result, have we begun to heal.

We must not try to hide our feelings, but try to understand them and let them be until they fade away. We must not feel sorry for ourselves, nor lose that self-confidence, because we all know that we have loved before and we will surely love again.

A tip that one of my dear friend suggested was that when you are happy and do not depend on others for happiness then things will go well and you will find that there are many more things in life than being sad and depressed.

Regret is something we will all feel but we will all learn from our mistakes and we will be great. There is no point in dwelling in the past. If you still love her, than do so, but know that life goes on, and only you can choose your path to happiness.