Saturday, December 24, 2005


It's gonna be Christmas in 2 days. I feel all Christmassy, kinda sad, kinda happy. Mostly sleepy. I'm taking a week off from work. I plan to catch up on some sleep. I really need it, I feel all worked out, I know it's partly because I hang out till early hours of the morning after work and then have horribly long days and evenings just stuck at work. I never have enough time!

I just started another Archer book, I can't wait to get home and continue, I think that's what's going to happen, I'm just going to tire myself out reading at home.

Twistedbrick is visiting and we're just roaming the city, eating...eating ALOT. You know all the good stuff, chow tou foo, the roti's and naan's and tosais, currys and chinese. Just now we waiting like an hour to get a good waffle. The lady just kept on burnin em. It was hilarious. You make like thousands a day, every day, you'd think a normal person could at least not burn that many, I mean there were probably already a hundred semi-black waffle-lookin things all stacked up in the trash can right next to the waffle maker. Perhaps she's doin it on purpose coz she's poor. She'll probably take the whole trash bag home with her feed her twelve kids and a three legged dog she picked up from the side of the road.

It's like 3am I gotta go.


Thursday, December 15, 2005

Empire Of Hope

*sigh* It's over. Reality has bitten the cold hot weather into me, and I have popped depressingly back into the real world again.

Where work & money, sex & corruption, disappointment & failure flood our lives with unforgiving waves of salty seawater.

Continuing to wait for something great to come my way and leave again. That is the way life is, to feel great, and have great times, and to watch it leave, reaching, yet grasping nothingness.

Things are too quiet, I'm enclosing myself, alone at work, working, thinking, hoping. Crying inside because I want to run wild. Yet I'm stuck in the present.

Christmas, decorated with the essence of work. They couldn't just tell me to my face. They used emotional blackmail. I am to take over because he was too uptight to take his turn. You snooze, you lose brother. Be brave, take what is yours, you're not perfect, quit trying to be. You're killing yourself.

Take it easy, work is always going to be there for you. Don't hurt me because you can't deligate. Take on the world, slave and stick a superman sign on your chest. Are you happy now?

I'm not superwoman so don't pat that sticker on me!

Being responsible does NOT mean absorbing responsibility. Taking on all tasks is just gonna kill ya. You can't do it alone, so stop trying to, you're suffocating yourself, and you're suffocating me, because when you leave, you have not left a system, you have not left a masterpiece, you have left a mess.

Life is about building a machine, put effort to create an empire. An empire that makes money for you. Not because of you.

If you want to do work, if you want to do lots of it, then let it go, leave the rest to me. I will create for you, an empire for you to point your finger. You can slog all your life, you can learn a billion things, and be a genuis, but when you go, it will all be lost. You have not created a future, a team, a successor, you have not built a ladder to the heavens, you're running the earth, running round and round. What happens when you stop?

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Guys - Not ALL @$$H*Le$?

Last week, I spent alot of time just chillin with a platonic husband of mine. This seems to happen alot nowadays, platonic husbands, not to me, but people I know.

Well, he didn't do the bended knee thing, nor buy me a ring, in fact the words barely came out of his mouth, and well, I said no. No as in dont ask me, not no I wouldn't marry him, though had he asked me I would have said no. So okay, he's not really my husband to begin with, but he did call me Mrs.H once. That was scarey...not a funny joke at all.heh.Okay okay, we're platonic friends...=P

We had a good time, just hanging out, talking mostly, getting to know each other, you know all the good stuff. I loved it, I loved every moment. It was great.

No pressure, no stress. No issues regarding sex, no issues regarding anything in fact, just plain old fashion good times.

I think I experienced something this weekend, that is extinct in this world of ours. I didn't feel the least bit of akwardness while we hung out, I didn't feel any obligation to be or act a certain way.

All I had to do was be myself and have a good time. I value to the core of the earth, my weekend, and a friendship that I never want to let go of. Not for anything.

There just might be a few nice guys out there.Maybe.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

@$$hole Monkeys

Integrated discussions about how we, humans, came about, linger through our everyday thoughts, people talk about adam and his apple eaing naked wife, having shitloads of sex and bearing millions of offspring. Polygamy and incest made us who we are. Of course scientist think humans came from monkeys.

Gy and I went siteseeing at a famous cave on the outskirt of town. He said that a friend and collegue of his, Bd, went there on his trip over. He had a hilarious encounter with a monkey who was interested in the bag of peanuts Bd was carrying, while going up the steps to the cave.

The monkey leaped onto his chest, put a hairy arm around his neck and tried to snatched the bag of peanuts away from Bd. Bd, chucked the bag of peanuts flying, and took off at probably forty miles an hour.

What da heck was he doing with a bag of peanuts in the first place!?

As we watched the monkeys swinging around climbing and sliding down poles, Gy, took caution. He didn't want to be the next huge laugh of the year back home. I assured him that monkeys were nice, they're cute, if you offer them food, they'll sit obediently stare at you with thier almost humanly looks, calmly reach out and politely take it from the plam of your hand. They're nice, Bd probably just met an asshole one.

Gy ponders, and replies, you're right, he probably just met an asshole one! A rude asshole monkey!

Humans evolved from monkeys, and if there are so many human assholes, they must have come from somewhere, asshole monkeys. Ahhh, so that explains it.

Next time you meet an asshole person, it's alright, he probably came from a frigin asshole monkey! heh.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Dear echez,

i really dont knw how this sounds to u, and i'll
understand and accept wateva ur decision is. Like
is said earlier when i called i really would like us to
be friends again, i'm not asking 4 anything beyond
that just FRIENDS no strings...after all this while
i've done a lotta thinking about the way things
ended btw us i'm not proud of the things i said and
did i wish i could undo them i swear, but i just cant
and i want u 2 knw honestly and sincerely frm the
bottom of my heart i didnt mean a word of all d
things i said it was all just a bad reaction to d way
i was feeling at that time. i hope 2 God dat u can
look past all those things, i would really be
honoured 2 be ur friend again i miss ur company
immensely, wierd as it may sound there r very very
few arround here dat i effectively get across 2 u r
one of those very few and i dont want 2 loose ur



You know, people only probably have one chance to show their sincerity, and that chance is the first chance. Let me try to recall what comes into mind when reminded of you.

Let's see, hmm....throwing oneself upon others, probably not a good screw anyway, realising what an idoit one really is, disrespectful to one's own parents, shall I continue?

What did I ever do to you? Trust you? All you ever needed to do was give me assurance and be there. And all the times I told myself that I could trust you, I found out, in a single evening, that it was all FAKE, that there are so many words you actually describe me as. That the nice things you said to me, were indeed nice. Only nice. Not only did you reveal your true self, but you lowered yourself to the lowest level, the scum of the earth.

You became someone that you swore yourself away from. I saw you and I wanted to apologise, apologise for expecting decency from a child. Are you worthy of my friendship?

I find no reason to entertain you further. You lack the traits of a sound human being, much less of a friend. What can I offer you if there's no longer trust for you? How can I ever pretend that you didn't say or mean the things that you did? How can I ever forgive you?

I can't and I won't. If you didn't want to lose something precious, you should have kept it close to you, protect it, and embrace it. Not shun it, wrecklessly abuse it.

It's hard to imagine any further acquaintence, like I said before, what are friends if there is no trust. Perhaps one day you'll understand that mistakes made are mistakes that you will have to live with for the rest of your life.

It's been a pleasure.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Which Are You?

I'm at work, it's a Saturday, I'm bored, I think I am going out of my mind! I did the Harry Potter one...Hahahaa, I think I'm sick.

You are Woodstock!

Which Peanuts Character are You?

5008 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 46449 times.
11% of people had this result.

I think these quizzes are cute.

Which Muppet are you?

rizzo jpeg
You are Rizzo the Rat.
You have few friends, but are loyal to those you do
have. Maybe if you didn't smell like sewage
you would have more.

Rodentia Digesta Lotta Grub
Brooklyn, USA

"Rat On A Hot Tin Roof"

"The Pest Is Yet To Come"

You got it, I'll eat it.

See "Favorite Food".

"When do we eat?"

What Muppet are you?

Harry Potter
You crave your own knight in shining armour: the
guy who will swoop in and save you, and manage
to be a sweet lover and good dad all at the
same time. You are the girl he's fighting for!

14719 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 112007 times.
13% of people had this result.

Who is your Harry Potter love match? (for girls)

Thursday, December 01, 2005


Ez Ez

I always though that as long as I wait it will come
I still believe that
But then now I am feeling a bit low
I afraid that I might not be able to bear it
People always see each other better than themselves
Is it?
Or it is just illusion
I am bored of people telling me they are busy too
But I don't think I can do anything about it
I can't say no don't go
Or I am not suppose to
At least not yEt
I too hate waiting
i used to be waiting
always waiting
thats does me nothing positive
it is just killing me softly ( a song)
But is patient a sign of maturity?
Do u think I am a baby if I nag you not to go?
I don't know
I am running out of patient too
Patient that I used to have
But I think I am running out of it
Excitement Is what I need
Is what I am searching for
If you can't give me that
I have to move on
the way that you led me to choose.

*Note: Beautifully written by the one and only Zt.