Wednesday, March 21, 2007


All my life, people have been going away. Coming into it and then leaving again. Always to somewhere else. I think I'm use to it. Perhaps, I expect it now. Sooner or later, someone close to me is going to go.

It's completely okay, I mean I totally understand the predicament. If you aint gonna leave, sooner or later, I'm going to be the one that's gettin out of the country.

I guess that's how my life was laid out. It's okay though because I think I have learned, more or less, how to handle it.

So go! See if I care?!?!..........

Okay okay I care, dont go...=)

That was something I saw in a goodbye card that I bought for one of my collegues. Funny.

Visual DNA

I saw this on Half a Cup of Chai, and decided to do one of my own...Thanxx! Helped me get through my boreful day!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

MBA Dissertation

I finally found the chance to summarise my trip. I guess it was nice, but there were so many things that I wanted to do that I didnt get the chance to. Oh well, next time. When I have the money I guess.

I have mixed feelings on what I want to write for my final MBA dissertation. I think I should just start, but I'm procrastinating because the environment isn't right, I dont have the right inspiration. I think that there are too many things both physically and mentaly, disturbing me, and I cant seem to get my thoughts straight.

Perhaps it's just an excuse for being lazy. There are so many things going on in my life that I want to get complete once and for all, so that I can orientate myself to start working on my dissertation.

I know that I am pushing myself behind schedule as compared to others in my class, but please understand. That my situation is so pressurising, there are so many things that I need to think about before this. Before my dissertation, like food and such.

I am a poor disturbed soul that has no firm foundation. I am floating around, in places that are not permenant. It's like one of rubbing your tummy and patting your head, that's the situation that I am in. I cant do both unless I concentrate really really hard and do things really slowly, and if I try to quicken the pace, it'll all fall apart in misery.

What shall I do, which piece should I move next?

Perhaps it has to do with the environment that I am in. I think I need to set up my room such that there is space, lots of space, lots of air, bright, white, cool, you know like heaven.

*sigh* Where I am now, I dont know...

Atlanta - Los Angeles - Las Vegas - Arizona

Once in the hotel room, I settled in, got the notebook working, went online. I cant remember exactly what happened chronologically in Atlanta the week that I was there, but I remember the first thing I had to do was Taco Bell. Taco Bell, is an Americanized version of mexican food. In other words just another fast food joint that many Americans try to advoid. Especially so because of the recent E.Coli outbreak that had affected, of all joints, Taco Bell.

To me, tacos, burritos, nacho's and fake cheese. A rare delicacy, that cannot be found in Malaysia. I'd say it's one of those simple and most satisfying things in life.

After having my dose to Taco Bell, which amazingly enough was walking distance away from the hotel, I decided that the temperature was great, and that I'd walk around the neighborhood.

There was Wal-Mart, in which I visited for a few hours, buying little American things for myself, and a few Americanized gifts for people at home. I also bought lots of microwavable popcorn, beef jerky, and slim jims, that Malaysia also doesnt have.

On Monday, work started, we had days and days of intensive training. Most of the things I had already gone through when I visited in May, so I was an expert. But even so, I broke a few things.

We, and when I say we, I mean the two guys from Australia who had come to visit Radiant US for the first time, who also had training with me. The training was more for their benefit, I was just sitting in.

So, we, went to Target, Circuit City, and all the electronic stores, in which they did they're shopping like women. This is understandable, men and their gadgets.

But when we went to JC Penny, or some department store, where they sell clothes, they again, shopped like women! Trying on clothes, again and again, and in the end buying nothing, we spent so much time there, it was pretty pathetic.

Anyways we ate at Ruby Tuesdays, the baby back ribs. It was okay.

I went to an NBA game!! That was one of the highlights of my trip. I had been to one before, but this time, it was great too! I went by the CNN center, the Olympic Cenntennial Park.
It was a good trip.

Then I was off to LA for Christmas. My uncle from Las Vegas was coming over to LA for a visit.
I got a Christmas present! LOL, I wasnt expecting one, but it was nice, to be with family, and kids, opening their presents.

I got an Ipod Nano!! WoooHooo, I'm a kid again...

Then was our trip Las Vegas, the city that never sleeps. We reached at 10pm, and I slept.
The next couple of days I hung out in my uncle's huge house, just 30 minutes outside the buzz of lights and entertainment. We painted his basketball court, played some ball. It was relaxing. I want a life like that.

We visited some of the hotels in LV, watched a magic show. All the good stuff.

A few days later, my adventure to Az on a greyhound. I think the trip was very interesting, and also relaxing, peaceful, one would say.

We stopped off in Flagstaff, a town that we drove past many a time when I was a kid. There was snow, but I was sweaty. Again the temperature was like an airconditioned room.

In Az, I chowed down on all my favorite junk food, went to family dinners, where I got to see my relatives all grown up. Got to eat American Chinese food...yucks! Went to church, visited my elementary school, something that I have wanted to do every since I left it a decade ago.

I think I had an overall pleasent trip. Next time I go, I want to go alone, I want to have mroe freedom, I want to roam around by myself, and explore. I want to visit the nooks and crannies that I use to hide out at when I was a kid.

I havent explored the real USA yet, or have I?


I read over my blog today, and started wondering why I spend my time updating it. I realised that all I ever wrote about is myself, I realised how self consumed I sound in all of my blog posts.

I have come to a conclusion that my writing and updating my blog, is somewhat theraputical. I started remembering that when I had nobody, I had words. Writing has been with me since forever. Whether I be writing sense, or nonsense. I guess this blog acts as a journal, in which I look back to the experiences that I have logged into it.

The things that I have been through, the feelings that I use to feel. Sometimes I feel embarassed when reading my own posts. Thinking to myself, OMGosh, I was so dumb, and OMGosh, I actually use to say these things, and I actually use to think that way.

I guess as time goes by, those things of the past no longer have their jist of excitement. Are no longer interesting. At times even monotonous.

Overall, I think I like my blog, I enjoy having a log of my experiences and feelings stored up somewhere, as words. Some of those feelings, I will never feel again. Most of the events I will never relive.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Aspirations Continued From September 2005!!!

It’s awhile since I posted my aspirations the first time in September 2005, and updated them January 2006. It is now 2007. Time for a review… Some of the things may seem a little pathetic, but hey, who cares.

1. Continue learning to play the violin.(pending)

2. Get my IR.(pending)
3. Get my Masters.(Completing my MBA in September 2007 – HOPEFULLY!!)
4. Learn to dance.(pending)
5. Bungee Jumping.(pending)
6. Base Jumping.(pending)
7. Hang Gliding.(pending)
8. Sky Diving.(pending)
9. Exercise.( pending)
10. Make time for Basketball.(pending)
11. Swim again.(pending)
12. Fit into swim suite.(pending)
13. Look good in swim suite.(pending)
14. Consume at least 5 servings of Veggies and fruits per day..(pending - this is not working out-needs more work)
15. Develop and maintain strong relationship with my cousins.(Slacking, but I’m sure they understand my predicament)
16. Make sure phone bill is less than RM100 per month.(This is still happening!!)
17. Get Streamyx at home - be able to afford it..(pending)
18. Rent/Buy a place of my own..(pending)
19. Get furniture for the place of my own..(pending)
20. Get a nice sound system and TV, even if I'm not that into music nor TV.(pending)
21. Nice fridge stocked with food and snacks all the time.(pending)
22. Paint my new place with colors of my own choice.(pending)
23. Take better care of skin. (pending)
25. Try washing my own clothes. (This may actually be working)
26. Try ironing my own clothes. (I could do better)
27. Cook (pending)
28. Wake up at 6am every morning.(NOT WORKING!!)
29. Sleep at 11pm every night.(trying very hard to do so, from 1am to 12am, getting there)
30. Read news paper daily. (Does online news paper count?)
31. Read a book a fortnight/month/week. (ACHIEVED!!! One a month I guess)
32. Try to get in da groove with music..(I omit this from my aspirations, I have music that I like, and that’s all I need)
33. Buy CD's.(pending)
34. Get a book shelf for my books (pending)
35. File my documents and put them on the shelf. (ACHIEVED!! Well, slacking on that again)
36. Get colored contact lenses (just for the fun of it).(pending)
37. Pay insurance. (ACHIEVED!!!)
38. Pay study loan (ACHIEVED!!!)
39. Take art classes. (pending)
40. Take business classes (MBA does that count.)
41. Take Public speaking classes.(pending)
42. Take Drama classes.(pending)
43. Upgrade my car.(pending)
44. Learn how to surf the internet patiently.(pending)
45. Get new shoes.(ACHIEVED!!! Need more new shoes!)
46. Start savings for my kids.(pending)
47. Keep a journal.(blog??)(starting again sort of)
48. Work at work.(ACHIEVED!! Well…)
49. Go out only on weekends.(I don’t really go out at all now.)
50. Go home after work.(ACHIEVED!!!)
51. Go over college books..(pending)
52. Visit Japan again.(pending)
53. Visit Hong Kong again.(pending)
54. Visit China again.(pending)
55. Visit Thailand again.(pending)
56. Visit Papua New Guinea again.(pending)
57. Australia.(pending)
58. Europe.(pending)
59. Definitely India.(pending)
60. Visit Grandparents in AZ.(pending for April 2006~!! DONE! May 2006 & Dec06/Jan07!!!)61. Visit uncles & cousins in AZ, CA, WA...where ever they may move to. (pending for April 2006~! DONE May 2006 & Dec06/Jan07)
62. Learn french, chinese, malay, spanish, german..(pending)
63. Go to church. (Trying to establish myself)
64. Read the bible. (pending)
65. Buy more dresses. (pending)
66. Wear more dresses.(pending)
67. Meet more people.(Not doing such a bad job)
68. Catch up with friends.(Caught up with LA here, Da, Ca, Ty in US.)
69. Dont get involved with men right now.(Well...Not doing too bad...I guess).(didn’t work)
70. Keep account of expenses. (didn’t work either)
71. Give parents money.(ACHIEVED!!)
72. Specialise in ONE programming software & language.(Pending)
73. Get and manage a credit card.(DONE!)
74. Invest in something.(Education, but I don’t think that counts.)
75. Take law.(pending)
76. Re-organise my PC, re-install all necessary programs. ( Done! My Brother did it…thanks!)77. Organise and collect software CD's.(Pending)
78. Dont miss the good movies that come out in the cinema.(Pending)
79. Try to make time for myself.(Pending)
80. DO WELL IN MY MBA!(pending)
81. Keep a planner.(ACHIEVED~!! Well, have to start that again)
82. Buy more shoes.(pending)