The Girls Before

Relationships revolve around communication, that's an honest fact. But to what degree is communication necessary?

There are types of relationships where both parties know everything about the other person. From how many partners they have been associated with, in which manner and all the juicy, heart twisting, emotionally damaging details.

Question today is, whether this is necessary. Is it necessary to tell your partner about your past. About how you and a girl named Mandy once had a thing, how Jessica is a snobby biatch...Would this strengthen a relationship or break it?

My opinion is that I'd rather know everything about my man, all the dirty little details. I believe that only when I realise all the pain, and am able to fully accept it, is when I can truely be happy with my man.

Sometimes in relationships, both parties know nothing about the other person's past. Those types of relationships work too. Where the past is kept the past, and the present and future are all that counts. This requires lots of courage and trust.

The worst thing about that type of relationship is when the past makes a sudden stop into the present. It is disasterous. When a certain handsome ring materialises, it is obviously from the past. A gift. From a girl. He doesnt prefer that it leaves his finger, not even for a few moments. He displays it proudly, and wears it religiously, cursing when it is misplaced, perhaps it is the ring itself, perhaps it's the treasure, and memory it beholds.

Not knowing the story, not knowing the background, not knowing the past situation. Perhaps it's not a situation from the past, but yet, the present. The relationship does not allow for further prodding. For prodding it is.

Being ignorant of a situation you will not feel the pain, knowing the situation, you can move on, build your defences within. Knowing a little, that is fatal.

The pain slowly churning, eating at you, infesting your every thought. Tell you the truth I'd rather the man in my life tell me, look, I have to confess, that I slept with the girl. I would feel devastated. I would cry, it would hurt me tremendously, and it would leave yet another open wound. And then I would pick myself back up, look at the situation, and make a decision. I would put up my defenses, slab on a band-aid and continue with life. The wound will heal because I know the whole story, and I can analyse the situation, I can plan my defence.

Had the situation been that I didnt know the whole story, if some of the story were being hidden from me, it would be like a spreading infection, healing through amputation.

echez