Me me me me and Me!

I wonder if I will ever be able to be okay with this situation. I believe that I am a very selfish person when it comes to love, care, attention from the people that I love the most. I want it all and I want it now!

I find that alot of times in my life, in my work and in the face of the world out there, everything is okay. But in the confines of my world, it's not okay. It's not okay that I dont get all the attention, it's not okay that there are other things and other people that are not me.

It is not okay that anyone could possibly choose anything other than me, than to be with me, than to talk to me, hang out with me, to do things that I want to do, to do things the way that I like them to be done...me me me me me!!

This self consummation, this desire to be loved to the highest degree, it screams out to the world. Where are you?!?! And why are you not here?!? Why am I still waiting?!

I have never felt this way before, I have never realised what I want and when I did I thought I didnt deserve it. But now I know what I want and I know that I do deserve it and I that is what I am looking for, everything else is sub-standard.

I have always taken sub-standard, I have always lived and suffered through it, and although it was hard, and unpleasent, I dont regret it, as it has only brought me to this point. Where I know what I want, and I am not going to accept anything that doesnt meet my expectations.

We'll see how I feel tomorrow =P