*sigh*

All the words in the world, they mean the everything to me, they also mean nothing. Not anymore, not when the truth lies so far away, it use to comfort me, and make me feel okay. But okay isnt something to feel anymore.

Nothing really matters, you fuck up your nose, and all you hear from work is that there's inventory this week! It's like oh no~! You hit the wall, how's the wall? Is it okay? You smile and give your warmth but it's blown away by the bitter wind.

Doesn't life just enjoy biting you in the arse? People you thought didnt give a shit, are there, for you, when you need them, people who shower you with, I'm going to be there for you, and the I do care for you. Where are they when you fall?

This is bullshit.

The whole concept, is bullshit.

You see the shit right in front of you and you walk right into it. In fact you're doing a little skip, and leap right into it.

Little do you know the stench is gonna stick to you for a good twenty miles down the road.

*sigh*

Somtimes

Distance stares. Dark grey thickness grabs you and doesnt let go. Dragging a bleeding soul, circling as an eagle brandishing it's prey.

Granted are the muffled melancholic screams of escape. Reaching, yet grasping but the vapor of exhalation.
You wish the sparkly efferversence could have lasted for a minute longer, but you cant.

There is nothing more. The world is vast and beautiful, yet confined, the sky is but a crack between moasiac grills.

You are being swallowed and there's no way out.

So Be It

I hate it when push comes to shove, and we come to find ourselves saying things like "so be it".

Twice, twice in my life, I have spoken those words, "so be it", and everytime I look back, I look back in awe.

There is never a good reason, never an appropriate time to say those words. No one ever means it when they say, so be it.

But sometimes it just doesnt matter anymore. The arrogance and ego that we posses lead us to prematurely end relationships of whichever degree, because of simple, unreasonable words like "fine!" and "so be it".

In life, sometimes people just have to take a step back, and give it a good look. You'll find that so be it just doesnt cut it. Many a time after a couple days, people start to reflect and regret, the rest is just self justification.

I didnt need that person in my life anyways. They were being too much, and they deserve it, or perhaps you guys werent meant to be friends anyway. All of these things we tell ourselves because we are too arrogant and proud to just let go of those words.

I'm not saying that I dont do things like that. I do, more often than I would like to. It's pretty stupid when I take a look back and realise how many more important people I could have had in my life had I just taken a bite to the bullet, let some things go.

But like we all say, that's life!

In my lifetime strive to be the perfect person, faults included, there is much to learn. much to overcome.

Cries of Crises

It's color wilts. Unappealing, just as twin souls, exausted in the midst of daily qualms. The perplexity of trust and the unjust, encaged in vows, silenced by obligation, or seemingly so.

A mandatory phase to hoover over as lives become a dusty trail. Minds go astray yet always buoy back to surface, light shines into one's eye, and there lays an explosion back into the reality of peace, harmony, loyalty, and honor.

From the pits of our hellish ways, we walk alongside the beauty in heaven, our sins forgiven, yet never forgotten.
Infestation of what has gone, never leaves, there to remind you what an angel you've been.

The finale of what could have been never takes place, it ends in what was, what is and what is to be, the indifinition of who we are and what we really want survives, mingles into the mist at large.

And that...is life.

In? Decency

I was confronted by a friend, regarding the "Decency" article. He says that I got it all wrong, I was looking into the situation from a one-sided point of view. I was biased in my thoughts and view on the situation, because I didnt know what the other party was up to, the other party may have been out reciprocating a "screwing around" incident.

I beg to differ as the situation I was referring to is a situation in which one person in the relationship gives complete trust in the other person, while that person takes it for granted and messes around.

Just imagine how you would feel if you really want to see your b/g-friend but they say that they are completely busy and barely have time for themselves, muchless you. And after biting the bullet and bitterly accepting that life does that to us sometimes, the fact is that your tremendously busy b/g-friend is out in the clubs messin around with other people.

It's like gobbing salt onto an open wound. Not only to be rejected by your b/g-friend, but your place in that person's life doesnt appear before clubs, drinking and messing around with others.

My friend says that it is a fact that when guys are with their gals and other gals are around, the gal will stick closely with their guy, but when there are good looking guys around, gals will stay away from their men, making themselves seem available.

I dont believe that it is fair to say that only gals act this way, men do it too. Although I relise that it does happen, I dont believe that the reason behind an act like that is constant. People do these things for different reasons, not because they want to get with the good looking guy, but because they want to be noticed by the good looking guy, so that their guy will pay more attention to them. It doesnt work, and there are people who do things like that. Sometimes it's just a human instinct.

I think I am done talking about this topic about how people cheat on other people, and how they mess around with other people etc etc.

All I know is that I, on a personal note, respect, and devote myself to the person in my life, and I would never want to hurt him, and I expect the same.

It's like giving someone a whole block of faith, if you are really dedicated to me, then you will not hurt me in this way. If you knowingly do these things, that you know is going to hurt me, and if you're okay with me being hurt by you, then by all means, please, hurt me, so that I will know, that I have made the wrong choice, and I have trusted the wrong man.

If you're doing that, you are already hurting me, every moment that you spend with someone else, you are hurting me, whether I ever find out or whether I dont, fact remains, things are still happening, you are still hurting me.

I have never felt so insecure before, but hey, now I have. It's okay.