Tuesday, September 29, 2009

There Is Nothing Here For You

The fountain of smiles have drained from here - from a heart that no longer wants to feel.
So bland that as the wings soar, it is no longer with joy and gaiety, yet with aimlessness and doubt.
Nothing is of essence.
Live and let live. And dont ever come back.

I Love Her

I got talking to a guy the other day, and we stumbled upon a topic in which this whole site is based - love.
He said, with this intese, yet calming and certain tone "I love her".

And it hit me like nothing has before. How wonderful for a man to relive his love in the complexities of the day.

It made me long for the day when a man will go out into the world, and think of nothing more, hope for nothing more, than to love me above any other.

There are alot of things that people can say about love, but there's no mistaking that which comes from the heart.

Monday, September 28, 2009

To You

You say that you're my friend. But you're not.You say that you are here for me. But you're not.
You say that you care for me but you dont! I'm sorry that I believed you. I'm sorry to you and I am sorry to myself that I believed it. I dont need it. I dont want it anymore. A burden it shall always be to anyone who dares to call me a friend. I will cry. And I will cry and cry and cry, until the anger swells in my eyes.
Until my heart is no longer weary. And then I will be strong. And when I smile at you, know, that you did nothing, and when I call you a friend, you can try to remember when you were there for me, but you never will - because you weren't.


I step in to the darkness. The darkenss blinds me. I reach out to feel the hope in the nothingness in front of me. Not a flinch to be felt, not a sentiment to touch.

The spears spiralling towards me, I can feel them coming. From where I cannot see. I am blinded as they bask in the kindness I cannot hide away. I ask why, but there is no why.


If only the wind would show me the way. I'd follow.
If only the flames painted me a path, I'd walk.
But what would it be to trail along a track? To be led and not to lead.
Has it never been before?
That you had taken that in which was never offered,
To strengthen and build for them what would never be yours?
No! The path of stones in which you wrote,
They had always let you through.
But what would it be had you chosen the choice
To be led and not to lead.
Would you survive the test of time? Or I.

Forever Blue

There is always someone somewhere, that insists on making these fine intricate carvings. Albiet intensely and satisfyingly beautiful; after the cocooning period of course.
There are always reprocussions to our actions.
Mine, I am beginning to see. Yours, will be realised in time.
Look closely, scars, forever inscribed.

Friday, September 25, 2009


There has always been a force, driving your weakness into strengths. You've lived in this privilege for so long that it seems such an exhausting plague, plastering your being. Every step you try to take buries you further into a merciless fortress, spinning ten feet above you.

You try to hold on, to find a little piece of your anchor, but it slips beyond your reach time and again.

You close your eyes, holding the reflection of your desire, craving for something to Stop!

Stop this circulation, stop these blemishes appearing from your already worn and spotted slate! Stop these torches boring holes into your skin!

And in a moment, your breath is knocked away. You gasp and gleam from the very tips of your fingers.

You take a drag, the crisp dewed air cools depth of your mind, the little rays bounce from your eyes.

There is an energy that growls from every muscle fatigued. You stretch and reach for the blue in the morning sky. When you look, you can see. When you reach you can grasp, and when you smile, you can live.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Tastes salty to the touch of my tongue, this fear.
And then a bitter sense of sweetness, lingers on my lips.
It swirls in my mind, tingles the light my of skin.
It encroaches my thoughts, scrambles the liquid of my heart.
It sways, it rips, it tears.
I tear.

Monday, September 14, 2009


But if it was a million miles to walk,
A million miles to journey through the mind,
And a million more to synchronise the beating of hearts.

If the prison gates left ajar,
Would you take the leap of faith,
A million miles into the ocean at large
To swim a million miles towards the sky
And stare into the starless clouds.

Would it be the same after all these trials?
Would it be enough to last - A million years?

Sunday, September 13, 2009


Do you know that in the night
When I sit and think
I think of you

My thoughts linger into an intrinsic love
One intriguing to such an extent
That there could be nothing more
Nothing more in the world that could possibly
replace it.

It would be complete.
There would be nothing more that one could ask for.

There would be complete satisfaction.
A contendedness that fills the meaning of sunshine in the morning.

We'd fight as fierce lions
We'd logic with enviable passion
We'd cry our laughter and laugh our cries.

and You and I,
we would sit and smile.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


I travel back into the wild we once knew. I hear the leaves rustle in the wind. The greens sway in the ripples of the still water. The wild coos. I wonder why all the things in the nature of things sway towards the wind - they always sway back.

I stand on the black of rock and wonder where they've been. Not a cloud in the sky, not a voice to shout. I wonder what's beneath the calm. The scene so full, yet so empty, so much space to be filled.

I wonder what they coo about, the wild.


What would a touch feel like if it would land on the soft of the skin, flow through the breast of the pounding heart.It's unwaivering sense of presence, it's weight upon the touch of the nakedness. Can you imagine the urge of being there,endlessly fuming for the minute space that determines the truth of all your lust, the difference between nothingness and the bond of intense love.
The furious attraction between what you have and what you want. The tragedy of it all, the awe of all of it. You can only reach, with a true uncertainty, for the cottonous nothing before you.
And imagine the fabulous world ahead, something you will never be able to endure.Nor I.
And then what do you have?


I dont want to see the breeze whisk away my love.I dont want the waves whirl away my heart. I want to hear the scale of triumph sing against my bosom.I want the warmth of passion upon my skin. I heed the touch of souls upon my breath.Of memories engraved, of happiness enslaved.I miss you.
Souls that have touched, hearts that are linked,
Lives that are joined and cannot be parted.
Time, distance, just creations of man's mind.
Measurement's spelt out to a scale that can be overcome.
Love is true and cannot divide into parts.
It is unending, eternal and forever I carry you in my heart,
We are always together.


It weighs so heavy, it hangs above me,
It is a wall that keeps us apart.
To tear it down, to throw it off,
To run those miles, and cross that crevasse
Is my desire, my only wish.
But for two hearts truely joined
There are no walls, distance - No object.
The sound of your voice, your laughter, your sadness, your joy,
Fill my ears
Fill my thoughts
I know true joy and that this test we shall pass.

I'm Sorry

I am honoured and humbled that you can tell me your thoughts, but sad that they are unhappy, sad that I was not there in the flesh to give you the comfort you needed. To say you have no friends is wrong. If I end up being nothing else with you, a friend I will always remain. For all your challenges, you have a strength, passion and outlook on life that inspires me. For meeting you I am grateful and I hope we can keep alive something that we have shared.

~Ephesians 2:8-10~

"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."
~Ephesians 2:8-10~

Sunday, September 06, 2009

A Voice That Smiles

A voice that smiles
Like summer sun it warms me
It fills my soul, it replenishes me
It is the sustenance to go on
Belief, Hope one without the other
A mere pebble on the ocean floor
Combined, more power than any man can know
The strength to go forward, to carry on
When all else seems beyond me.
So? Such a small thing?
A voice that smiles?

Thursday, September 03, 2009


Gaddamnit! You know how sometimes you get your hopes up and gather all your guts and work up all your cowardly courage to say something to someone or to confront someone, and you've finally put your foot down and said to yourself, OK!!! This is it, there's no turning back and you're all siked and pumped up, and then you finally take a step towards this person, and you walk thru the door, and....they're not there. You finally get to dialling the numbers and....it rings and rings and rings...and just keeps ringing...until the woman on the other ends picks up and says "I'm sorry..."and you dont ever stick around to hear the end of the sentence, but you can imagine.

I'm sorry echez, you are such an idoit!
I'm sorry, the number you have called is ignoring you.
I'm sorry, the number you have called is much too busy to answer your call!
I'm sorry!

Yeah, well, I'm sorry too!

What was I thinking? Maybe I wasnt, maybe I dont want to but I should.

Maybe I should be the one to take a stand, I keep asking myself why I always have to be the one to give up what I want for the sake of other people.


I guess it's because I have to take responsibility for the situation that I have put myself into.

I will blame myself and no one else, for getting myself into the position that I am in. I knew it from the beginning, and hey, I made the decision.

Was it worth it? I dont know, is pain ever worth it?


The worst thing is to be alone in pain. Nothing is worth being alone in this world.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

joyeux anniversaire

It is time to send a wish out to the people in my life that are getting more the wiser yesterday, today and tomorrow.

I just want to say that you are the one who has participated in my life, who has made a huge part of me alive, and have contributed to what makes me who I am, and I am eternally grateful for the day that you were brought into this world, and to the day that the paths of our souls collided.

My life's quest has been a continual search for that something that triggers my inspiration, and lights up my being and in return sparks, lights and spreads.

That's what you are for me, I cannot tell you why, I dont think I know why, but I know it is.

Red, today, when there is red, you must smile. For Red brings forth prosperity... and then, your one true wish may just come true.

~joyeux anniversaire~