Do I think that he is messing with me? That just becuase he belongs in a part of society that is stereotyped to have a bias against the way that I look? No, I don't, and even if it were true, I am not afraid. What have I not gone through in my life that could make me afraid of the type of person that I could possibly find underneath it all.
I am not afraid becuase I am looking for someone to share my thoughts with, someone whom I am able to count on to talk to me, to comfort me when I am down. Someone to make me laugh and smile. And nothing more. I am not seeking a wonderful love and marriage. Not from someone whom I have just met.
The most important thing to me right now is to be able to smile while I live this part of my life. I realised that I cannot have more than that right now, becuase if you have no foundation, how can you expect a tower to be erected? Out of nowhere? Who in their right mind would ever trust that it would be stable?
The best thing about meeting someone new is that everything is new and intriguing. I have no doubt that in time that this will slowly fade away. I've seen it enough. How much could two people possibly have to say to each other?
It's not about the being there, it is about the being able to express yourself in a way that is sincere and genuine. I am only myself in the presence of the closest people in my life.
The people who have been there when I cry. Those are the people who are the closest people in my life. I cry alot, but only two or three people in that I hold close have actually, physically been there to hold me.
I think that might be what I continuously look for. I suppose eventually, the pillows just arent enough.
I have many by the way...pillows, never neglect the pillows.
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