Hi

I'm done being disappointed.

There's more to life than waiting and anticipating things that may never be.

I have expectations and I'm not ready to change those expectations because you cannot meet them. Just admit that you can't do it, and walk away.

"As of this moment I dont think there will ever come a day when I will say, that i want and need to be without you, you make me wanna give my all." Ta

I've given my all, I really have, what more do you want me to do? There's nothing more that I could possibly do, to fix or change the way things are.

It's hanging on a thread, and you know it. Does it matter enough to you to do something about it?

Please, ask yourself.

*sigh*

All the words in the world, they mean the everything to me, they also mean nothing. Not anymore, not when the truth lies so far away, it use to comfort me, and make me feel okay. But okay isnt something to feel anymore.

Nothing really matters, you fuck up your nose, and all you hear from work is that there's inventory this week! It's like oh no~! You hit the wall, how's the wall? Is it okay? You smile and give your warmth but it's blown away by the bitter wind.

Doesn't life just enjoy biting you in the arse? People you thought didnt give a shit, are there, for you, when you need them, people who shower you with, I'm going to be there for you, and the I do care for you. Where are they when you fall?

This is bullshit.

The whole concept, is bullshit.

You see the shit right in front of you and you walk right into it. In fact you're doing a little skip, and leap right into it.

Little do you know the stench is gonna stick to you for a good twenty miles down the road.

*sigh*

Somtimes

Distance stares. Dark grey thickness grabs you and doesnt let go. Dragging a bleeding soul, circling as an eagle brandishing it's prey.

Granted are the muffled melancholic screams of escape. Reaching, yet grasping but the vapor of exhalation.
You wish the sparkly efferversence could have lasted for a minute longer, but you cant.

There is nothing more. The world is vast and beautiful, yet confined, the sky is but a crack between moasiac grills.

You are being swallowed and there's no way out.

So Be It

I hate it when push comes to shove, and we come to find ourselves saying things like "so be it".

Twice, twice in my life, I have spoken those words, "so be it", and everytime I look back, I look back in awe.

There is never a good reason, never an appropriate time to say those words. No one ever means it when they say, so be it.

But sometimes it just doesnt matter anymore. The arrogance and ego that we posses lead us to prematurely end relationships of whichever degree, because of simple, unreasonable words like "fine!" and "so be it".

In life, sometimes people just have to take a step back, and give it a good look. You'll find that so be it just doesnt cut it. Many a time after a couple days, people start to reflect and regret, the rest is just self justification.

I didnt need that person in my life anyways. They were being too much, and they deserve it, or perhaps you guys werent meant to be friends anyway. All of these things we tell ourselves because we are too arrogant and proud to just let go of those words.

I'm not saying that I dont do things like that. I do, more often than I would like to. It's pretty stupid when I take a look back and realise how many more important people I could have had in my life had I just taken a bite to the bullet, let some things go.

But like we all say, that's life!

In my lifetime strive to be the perfect person, faults included, there is much to learn. much to overcome.