It's color wilts. Unappealing, just as twin souls, exausted in the midst of daily qualms. The perplexity of trust and the unjust, encaged in vows, silenced by obligation, or seemingly so.
A mandatory phase to hoover over as lives become a dusty trail. Minds go astray yet always buoy back to surface, light shines into one's eye, and there lays an explosion back into the reality of peace, harmony, loyalty, and honor.
From the pits of our hellish ways, we walk alongside the beauty in heaven, our sins forgiven, yet never forgotten.
Infestation of what has gone, never leaves, there to remind you what an angel you've been.
The finale of what could have been never takes place, it ends in what was, what is and what is to be, the indifinition of who we are and what we really want survives, mingles into the mist at large.
And that...is life.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Friday, September 01, 2006
In? Decency
I was confronted by a friend, regarding the "Decency" article. He says that I got it all wrong, I was looking into the situation from a one-sided point of view. I was biased in my thoughts and view on the situation, because I didnt know what the other party was up to, the other party may have been out reciprocating a "screwing around" incident.
I beg to differ as the situation I was referring to is a situation in which one person in the relationship gives complete trust in the other person, while that person takes it for granted and messes around.
Just imagine how you would feel if you really want to see your b/g-friend but they say that they are completely busy and barely have time for themselves, muchless you. And after biting the bullet and bitterly accepting that life does that to us sometimes, the fact is that your tremendously busy b/g-friend is out in the clubs messin around with other people.
It's like gobbing salt onto an open wound. Not only to be rejected by your b/g-friend, but your place in that person's life doesnt appear before clubs, drinking and messing around with others.
My friend says that it is a fact that when guys are with their gals and other gals are around, the gal will stick closely with their guy, but when there are good looking guys around, gals will stay away from their men, making themselves seem available.
I dont believe that it is fair to say that only gals act this way, men do it too. Although I relise that it does happen, I dont believe that the reason behind an act like that is constant. People do these things for different reasons, not because they want to get with the good looking guy, but because they want to be noticed by the good looking guy, so that their guy will pay more attention to them. It doesnt work, and there are people who do things like that. Sometimes it's just a human instinct.
I think I am done talking about this topic about how people cheat on other people, and how they mess around with other people etc etc.
All I know is that I, on a personal note, respect, and devote myself to the person in my life, and I would never want to hurt him, and I expect the same.
It's like giving someone a whole block of faith, if you are really dedicated to me, then you will not hurt me in this way. If you knowingly do these things, that you know is going to hurt me, and if you're okay with me being hurt by you, then by all means, please, hurt me, so that I will know, that I have made the wrong choice, and I have trusted the wrong man.
If you're doing that, you are already hurting me, every moment that you spend with someone else, you are hurting me, whether I ever find out or whether I dont, fact remains, things are still happening, you are still hurting me.
I have never felt so insecure before, but hey, now I have. It's okay.
I beg to differ as the situation I was referring to is a situation in which one person in the relationship gives complete trust in the other person, while that person takes it for granted and messes around.
Just imagine how you would feel if you really want to see your b/g-friend but they say that they are completely busy and barely have time for themselves, muchless you. And after biting the bullet and bitterly accepting that life does that to us sometimes, the fact is that your tremendously busy b/g-friend is out in the clubs messin around with other people.
It's like gobbing salt onto an open wound. Not only to be rejected by your b/g-friend, but your place in that person's life doesnt appear before clubs, drinking and messing around with others.
My friend says that it is a fact that when guys are with their gals and other gals are around, the gal will stick closely with their guy, but when there are good looking guys around, gals will stay away from their men, making themselves seem available.
I dont believe that it is fair to say that only gals act this way, men do it too. Although I relise that it does happen, I dont believe that the reason behind an act like that is constant. People do these things for different reasons, not because they want to get with the good looking guy, but because they want to be noticed by the good looking guy, so that their guy will pay more attention to them. It doesnt work, and there are people who do things like that. Sometimes it's just a human instinct.
I think I am done talking about this topic about how people cheat on other people, and how they mess around with other people etc etc.
All I know is that I, on a personal note, respect, and devote myself to the person in my life, and I would never want to hurt him, and I expect the same.
It's like giving someone a whole block of faith, if you are really dedicated to me, then you will not hurt me in this way. If you knowingly do these things, that you know is going to hurt me, and if you're okay with me being hurt by you, then by all means, please, hurt me, so that I will know, that I have made the wrong choice, and I have trusted the wrong man.
If you're doing that, you are already hurting me, every moment that you spend with someone else, you are hurting me, whether I ever find out or whether I dont, fact remains, things are still happening, you are still hurting me.
I have never felt so insecure before, but hey, now I have. It's okay.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
MBA III
Just an update about how ma MBA is going. It's okay.
It started out really interesting, and great, and fun and all.
Now comes the hard part. Finance and Accounting. I took about half an accounting class when I was in Form 4, and then I quit. That's how much I love the subject!
I ran away from this, accounting, I ran away. That's one of the reasons that I took all the math in the world...so that I could run away from accounting. Alas, it's all coming back to me now.
Major accounting, major accounts management. Finance is pretty cool, more to what I like, but accounts management, and balance sheets and profit n loss accounts. Noooooooooo....leave me alone!!!
Anyways, the class is so tremendously BORING!!The guy has practically no sense of humor! He's like the second grade teacher we all hated, well the second grade teacher that I hated : Mrs. Miller the Killer.
Anyways most people in class are really busy with work, which makes me feel a little better that we're all on the same sinking ship. I have practically no time to do anything after work. But there are a few people who have a more relaxed lifestyle, who are able to cope with the pressures. I think that the main objective of taking the MBA, or studying in general is to teach us how to handle pressure, and how to think reasonably, and absorb information even in our most busy times.
I think the hard part's gonna be my dissertation. That's going to be the challenge of the decade.
*sigh*
The people in class are pretty nice, they're mostly people who have been working for a long long time. They know everything about everything business, and everything going on in Malaysia and in the world.
I dont think I can do that. They suddenly talk about the CEO of this huge company as if they had lunch with him the day before. They talk about how this business and that is running and how they do or dont agree, I'm like. Who? Oh, yeah I saw that in the papers...shit, I should have read that article.
Or hey! I read an article on that! I still have no idea what you are talking about. Plus I have no idea what's going on politically, and I have no passion to find out.
I dont know how the previous prime minister was and I dont know how the prime minister is now. Right now, I dont really care. It may be affecting me but I dont work directly with it, so I have no idea. What do ya want me ta do?
The people I work with are even more clueless...*sigh*...how la, how? The only opinion I have about the prime minister is hey! leave him alone, let him do what he wants, he has his own plan. If you're so great, you be the prime minister!
I know, I know, knowing about what is going on in the country helps you to understand, and predict what to venture into and what not to, and it also clues you in on the bigger picture of Malaysia, and that's what people should do because every industry is connected to every other industry, so it's advantageous to be knowledgable.
But still!
It started out really interesting, and great, and fun and all.
Now comes the hard part. Finance and Accounting. I took about half an accounting class when I was in Form 4, and then I quit. That's how much I love the subject!
I ran away from this, accounting, I ran away. That's one of the reasons that I took all the math in the world...so that I could run away from accounting. Alas, it's all coming back to me now.
Major accounting, major accounts management. Finance is pretty cool, more to what I like, but accounts management, and balance sheets and profit n loss accounts. Noooooooooo....leave me alone!!!
Anyways, the class is so tremendously BORING!!The guy has practically no sense of humor! He's like the second grade teacher we all hated, well the second grade teacher that I hated : Mrs. Miller the Killer.
Anyways most people in class are really busy with work, which makes me feel a little better that we're all on the same sinking ship. I have practically no time to do anything after work. But there are a few people who have a more relaxed lifestyle, who are able to cope with the pressures. I think that the main objective of taking the MBA, or studying in general is to teach us how to handle pressure, and how to think reasonably, and absorb information even in our most busy times.
I think the hard part's gonna be my dissertation. That's going to be the challenge of the decade.
*sigh*
The people in class are pretty nice, they're mostly people who have been working for a long long time. They know everything about everything business, and everything going on in Malaysia and in the world.
I dont think I can do that. They suddenly talk about the CEO of this huge company as if they had lunch with him the day before. They talk about how this business and that is running and how they do or dont agree, I'm like. Who? Oh, yeah I saw that in the papers...shit, I should have read that article.
Or hey! I read an article on that! I still have no idea what you are talking about. Plus I have no idea what's going on politically, and I have no passion to find out.
I dont know how the previous prime minister was and I dont know how the prime minister is now. Right now, I dont really care. It may be affecting me but I dont work directly with it, so I have no idea. What do ya want me ta do?
The people I work with are even more clueless...*sigh*...how la, how? The only opinion I have about the prime minister is hey! leave him alone, let him do what he wants, he has his own plan. If you're so great, you be the prime minister!
I know, I know, knowing about what is going on in the country helps you to understand, and predict what to venture into and what not to, and it also clues you in on the bigger picture of Malaysia, and that's what people should do because every industry is connected to every other industry, so it's advantageous to be knowledgable.
But still!
Friday, August 25, 2006
Impossible Relationships
Why do I hang onto my phone every minute of the day waiting for the call that I'm not going to receive, waiting for the message that I'm not going to get.
Why, I ask, do I wake up every morning wishing for a good morning that I'm never going to hear. Why do I go to work hoping to receive the flowers that are never going to be sent or the lunch invitation that I'm never going to be asked to.
Why do I wait for the dinner plan that will never be planned or go home every night and wait for a call that's not going to made for the movie I'm not going to get to see.
Why do I anticipate the weekend that you're not going to spend with me, and the kiss I'm not going to get from you.
Why do I anticipate every passing day and week and month that you wont want to spend the time you dont have, with me?
Why do I hope and wish and anticipate for the love and care that you dont have for me?
Why, I ask, do I wake up every morning wishing for a good morning that I'm never going to hear. Why do I go to work hoping to receive the flowers that are never going to be sent or the lunch invitation that I'm never going to be asked to.
Why do I wait for the dinner plan that will never be planned or go home every night and wait for a call that's not going to made for the movie I'm not going to get to see.
Why do I anticipate the weekend that you're not going to spend with me, and the kiss I'm not going to get from you.
Why do I anticipate every passing day and week and month that you wont want to spend the time you dont have, with me?
Why do I hope and wish and anticipate for the love and care that you dont have for me?
Decency
I called someone an arsehole the other day, I feel kinda bad that I did, but you know what, that is how I feel about people who are in a relationship, people who, through their own free will, chose to be with someone, who pledged themselves to be honorable, to be loyal and true to their partner, boy friend or girlfriend, and then turn around and screw other people!
It is despicable! You, through your own free will made a decision to be with this person, so you should honor that with every part of your heart, body and soul.
If not, then quit it with your partner.
Just imagine, your partner, just being at home, trusting you with all their heart, just "knowing" that you're busy doing things or in a situation that you're just completely unable to see them, and that once you have the slightest opportunity, you'd think of them and you'd definitely see them, because their someone dear to you and that's what people should do, be with the person that they like that likes them back, the person that they committed to.
But no, hell no, you aint stayin at home, no ways. If you thought I was stayin at home, no ways! You're out partying, making out with other people, screwing around with other people, while the person that probably really loves you, is sitting at home, trusting that you're genuinely busy.
You know, if you care enough for that person, at the least, have the decency to dump them before you go and screw around!
It is despicable! You, through your own free will made a decision to be with this person, so you should honor that with every part of your heart, body and soul.
If not, then quit it with your partner.
Just imagine, your partner, just being at home, trusting you with all their heart, just "knowing" that you're busy doing things or in a situation that you're just completely unable to see them, and that once you have the slightest opportunity, you'd think of them and you'd definitely see them, because their someone dear to you and that's what people should do, be with the person that they like that likes them back, the person that they committed to.
But no, hell no, you aint stayin at home, no ways. If you thought I was stayin at home, no ways! You're out partying, making out with other people, screwing around with other people, while the person that probably really loves you, is sitting at home, trusting that you're genuinely busy.
You know, if you care enough for that person, at the least, have the decency to dump them before you go and screw around!
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