Saturday, March 25, 2006

Neutrally Hilarious!!

I was hanging with Zt and HL today after work and we were
talking about everything all at once.

First we talked about how Zt saw FD3 and how she didnt see the first two, and how HL hadn't seen any of them, and how death has a planfor all of us and that if we're meant to die then death
is going to get us...etc etc.

Anyways, we traced ZT's roots and she's most susceptable to diseases. Since she's in between HL and I she's got the worst of both worlds. My side of the family, has a history of diebetes, HL's side, breast cancer.

So she's like, "*sigh* dont talk about death already, we all know that I'm most susceptable to gettin breast cancer, diabetes, plus I have asthma!"

HL brings up that it is debatable whether cancer is genetic or is caused by environmental factors. So I pitch in to explain how smoking causes cancer by killing your cells which means that they need to be regenerated. And in this process millions are killed and need to be reporduced and each cell that has to be reproduced whether it be cells killed by smoking or otherwise, has a chance of mutating from it's original DNA structure. This mutation could be cancerous, which means that it lacks the ability to stop multiplying and thus grows exponentially, out of control which causes a lump, and that is cancer...

In other words, I confused the heck out of the two of them. So again Zt says....yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna get all these diseases anyways.

Then we got into the topic that Bausch & Lomb Renue Contact Lens Solution made this one guy blind, so we shouldn't use that product for awhile. HL argues should the world really completely stop using a product just because one person is affected by it? For all we know the kid could probably have dripped acid on his fingers before he used the solution.

Zt says okay okay, I'm gonna grow cancer and we're gonna have to cut off my breast! Stop talking about this stuff.

EZ - Ya know that if your vagina is too alkaline that you could grow weird bacteria, and then you'd have to cut that off too!

Zt - the vagina is acidic?!

EZ - yeah! and sperm is akaline, did you know your face is not neutral, it's a little more acidic...or is it a little more aklaine...I dunno it's just not neutral.

HL - yeah the vagina is acidic, you know PH7

EZ - PH 7! not that much! you know PH7 is like the acid acid that'll burn a friggin hole in your skin, that's the strongets acid is PH7!!!

Zt - Wahahahahahah, that's why there's a hole there!

HL - ahahahahhaha

EZ - ROFL literally! Wait! wait! I wail!!! PH7 is alkaline laaaaa!!!! PH1 is acidic....ahahahahahah

HL - oh yeah sprem is alkaline and the vagina is acidic.

Zt - oh! oh! oh! Do you know how how to make neutral?! acid plus alkaline becomes neutral!!waaahahahaha!!!

EZ - hahahahaha...yeah,yeah yeah...and sperm IS alkaline! Haven't you ever felt it before? it feels like soap!

HL - you know have you ever tasted alkalline before? it taste nasty!

EZ - you cant eat PH 7 alkaline it'll burn you just like acid!

ZT - *sticks her tongue out like a lizard* mean you've tried to taste the aciiid....hahahahahha

EZ - you sick virgin you!!! WTF is wrong with you!!


Funny, funny night...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


People say that when you're scared, you run away...I think I'm running away. I guess it's a self preservation mechanism. As much as I enjoy being with that someone, as much as I hate saying no, as much as I want to see and be with a person all the time. I just cant let myself do it anymore. It's killin me.

People need their space. I can understand that. But it scares me. It's so unnatural that someone would "not" want to see me. Who wouldn't wanna see me? I'm not trying to be arrogant or anything, but I mean, if you like someone, naturally you wanna be with them. Naturally they'd be the first thing on your mind, right?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if someone says that they're into you, but doesn't contact you for like 2 weeks, even though they aren't very far away, and they could at any moment in time have picked up a phone and called, there's got to be a problem there right?

Either he's just not that into me, or...or...I really dont know....I just dont seem to understand...



Monday, March 20, 2006

The Weekend

Friday - I have this splitting headache when I get home from work at like 10pm. After deciding that I have lots of reading to do for my assignment, there are people that I havent seen for like sooo long, I said to myself...frug it! I'm going to sleep. I slept.

2am I receive a call - En calls me. En! Wow. I never thought that he'd call. I never thought that he'd ever have anything to do with me after what happened years and years ago. When I broke his heart, I never meant for it to happen that way. Then again what was I thinking. It's been 6 years after all, and I met him a few months ago when he brought this gal with him.

I wake up. I'm pretty happy that he calls. I dont know why. Perhaps I never wanted to lose a friend like him to highschool "love". He taught me everything I know about basketball. He taught me about strength.

So I peel myself off my bed, take a shower, brush my hair and his friends and him are at the door. I got home at 4am it was pretty weird. Made me feel young again.heh.

Saturday - I refuse to wake up till 1pm, after all I have no plans today. I get up, pull a book and start reading. I get a call from Ta, the meeting is set for 3pm. Oh shucks! I promised ZT that we'd watch a movie...! shucks shucks shucks!!
I cancel. I dont know wether i was okay with cancelling, after all it's been 2 weeks since I've met Ta.

I hang with ZT. We have a good time. We always have a good time. I dont know what i would do without her.
We watch a chinese movie about breast cancer, it's kinda sad. Really romantic, funny. That's the sorta stuff I like...not breast cancer, romantic comedeous movies. (is that a word).

Anyhow, I get home, and I read 6 books! Okay so they weren't for my assignment, but still.

So Sunday I sleep in again. Till 1pm again. I read - again. And sleep - again. Until Monday, and even so I wake up at 8:45am for work at 9:30am.

So I got lots and lots of sleep. But I dont think I slept comfortably coz when I got up, my neck hurt, and my back hurt. Maybe it's coz with all that sleeping, I forgot to drink water.

I read that if you dont drink enough water your bones are gonna hurt. I guess that must have been it.

I played Volleyball on Thursday last week. It was great. I finally got some exercise. I think I felt much better after exercise. See now I have to exercise more.

I get addicted to exercise sometimes, but pbviously it hasn't happened for like a year, ever since I started working.

So back to the topic, wait what was the topic? Anyways I'm going to play basketball tonight.


Sunday, March 19, 2006

We Are The People

Is the happiness still here? It's been a few days....usually it goes away, usually I think of all the bad things that are going on and I sulk at them and I feel that everything is going wrong.

Is happiness still here? Yes it still is! I'm still happy. But I realise that I have no one to share it with. Who is here to share these wonderful moments in my life? Who really cares that I'm working my arse off, and what I'm achieving. Perhaps my parents, but then again, as long as I'm not emabrassing them or asking them for money, they're happy about everything that I do.

Has my life resulted to dependence on man? Do I always have to have a guy there to share my thoughts with? To share my life with?

No one will ever know me. It's too late for that, there's not one person who has gone through life with me, there's not one person who has been with me through thick and thin, there's not one person who would ever be able to know nor understand me to the root. I feel so spread apart, I dont belong, there's no place for me, in anyone, in any place.

But that's okay, we become accustomed to having no one, or always having people who are going to leave. I cant say that I'm not the independent gal. I also cant say that I dont need anyone, I do need someone, everyone needs someone. Whether it be a guy or a gal. People need other people. I need someone whom I can share my world, and know that they're not going to leave with my hopes and dreams, happiness and pain.

I've given so much of me to people that I trusted would be there for me when I really needed them. Why did they go? Why did they take my thoughts and go?

Dont you know that I gave you all of me? I entrusted you with all my weakness, hoping that you would hold on to them and make me strong. Dont you know that it's gone now. Dont you realise that you have taken it away from me?

So often I have to start again, so often I'm let down. Is there anyone in this world? Anyone there just for me?


Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Great

Things are going great in my life. I've never been happier! Things aren't perfect, but they haven't been so great in a long time. Which makes me wonder, does hard work really pay off? Has it worked for me because I had my priorities set straight?

God has definitely helped me get this far.

But what else, of so many things that I f*cked up, I'm surprised that I am able to be here now, being who I am. I guess I shouldn't be questioning happiness. I usually dont talk about my happiness, I fear it will be jinxed. I fear it will all go away. But today I write in happiness.

I cant really explain this feeling. I know that many problems are going to arise, very soon. But today! Today is wonderful! I have no other way to express this.

Work is good, studying is doesn't matter. I spend so much time and energy to make things work out for me socially sometimes, it's not worth it. Nobody ever realises how much you put into it. Nobody ever realises your pain. Everyone's selfish. Can't blame them.

I think i have given up, and I think it's okay with me.

Sunday, March 12, 2006


Just got back from class. It was great! Wonderful! Exciting! I would have never imagined that it would be so interesting,

Just being int he presence of a group of people who have the same passion, inspiration, and goal to achieve. It's really great. Of course, it is the beginning of a whole new level of learning. There's going to be lots of sleepless nights and major planning and organisation.

One thing that I'm not going to let happen to me is to let this overcome me. It will be part of my life, but it will not consume me. Although I'm going to make major changes in my lifestyle, this course will not change the person that I am. It will not changed my character, and I will not let it affect the social person that I am.

I will take this opportunity to create bonds and ties that I would have never had the chance of doing so had this course not fallen into my life.

The funniest thing happened today. It was pretty amazing. I was in this Merc that one of my MBA mates was driving, we stopped off at a 711 to get some snacks. As we got back and parked this guy jumps out of his BMW, 5 series and enthuastically asks my calssmate what he did to his car because he has the same car and he wants to do the same thing to it. He asks if he could take a picture of the car too.

I started laughing. Apparently the guy followed us just to ask what rims the guy used and everything. Fanatics.

The guy in the BMW turns out to be from the US, and works in the Petronas Twin Towers as the CIO for a major company. The guy looks chinese lookin, and is quite the handsome one, and looks pretty young. Impressive. He was looking into doing a MBA as too, while he's in Malaysia. We recommended the one we were taking.

I'm impressed by his ambition.

Friday, March 10, 2006


I had a great day today! I think it may have been one of my best days at work! It was just great, everything was flowing smooth, of all the days, I smiled the most today. Well, other than the memories of wonderful moments with those special people in my life.

If only you were here, you'd know all the things I wanted to tell you, that I couldn't and that I cant because I'd know that it wouldnt matter to you.

Every moment I wonder why I give myself away for you. What happiness do you hold for me? Is the man I see somewhere in between that wealth he seeks?I wonder how a soul like me could ever fit into your material world.I am a girl of gift. To receive on demand is no longer construed a similarity. This world is fake. Of words that mean nothing to their actions.

What ever happened to the marshmallowed dreams of love and life. Of happiness and clouds? Why the sudden thundered sky?

Dictation doesnt suit me well. My man will know that only the pure love for me can end his disheartened fear. I wonder how a hollow heart will grow.

Sunday, March 05, 2006


I've finally started my MBA classes! It's great! I love it! I dont know why I never took business before. I didnt realise that it connects so much more to the outside world.

Engineering is something that happens behind the scenes, although it plays a major role in products being produced, it has no direct contact with the people! Products that engineers are designing, manufacturing, and planning major logistics for, people buy it use it and who cares about how much effort it took to make and how many people have actually inspected, rejected and reinspected the darnded thing. Long as in the end, it makes their life easier.

It's no wonder people always ask the question: "Soooo......What does an engineer do again?" or "What does an Engineer actually DO?"

So I went for my first 5 hour class, and the first time since highschool I didnt fall asleep! But not knowing anything about business, not coming from a business background, I feel like a dope, and that there is so so much stuff to learn and read.

I feel especially behind, which makes me wanna scream, and hammer the books into my head. I wish I knew more. Which makes me wonder, do people know all this general knowledge stuff because they have personally encountered it throughout their life, or just so happens that everyone that I talk to has read up and memorised all these things, and I'm 10 years behind?

I mean who remembers stuff like, oh, in 1986 Mc Donalds wanted to expand into India and they couldnt because indian people dont eat meat, especially beef, and so (insert whole marketing strategy here).

Perhpas people in the same industry would know the details, but people who aren't also know! Only I didnt know! What's wrong with me? And the people were like yeah! I saw that in the newspaper like 10 years ago! And I'm like SHIT. How am I gonna compete with people who have read and memorised newspaper articles since 1986? I can barely cope with reading the daily paper now.

I guess that's the difference between school college and friggin post grad studies.

More to come.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006


About people in my life. Sometimes when people get so busy they forget about other people. I can say honestly that I tend to do that very often. I express my deepest apology.

I also realise that many people reciprocate this lack of ability to keep in touch.

This lack of social contact prohibits one to be complete.

Okay okay what I'm really trying to say is : - I'm sad. =(

You can be successful in everything that you do, you can have everything you've ever dreamed of having, everything can be going great, and running smooth, can be sad.


Next Step in LIfe

So many things going on, so many hopes, so many things piecing together, so many things falling apart, all at once.

So many choices to make, so many things to consider.

No one here to understand. No one here to realise that beneath everything is just a girl.

Who wandered into wrong room at the wrong time. Who impressed he world with her stories of way and wonder.

My silent Philosophy of life is that if I think about it constantly and make my every move towards my goal. Sooner or later I'm going to get there.

I have been offered a position with a more attractive income, still technical, but a little out of engineering scope. Not much career advancement available. Reputible multinational company. Not engineering position.

My current company is showing advancement, it's getting bigger, and I am playing a part. They are also sending me for a half business, half pleasure trip to the US. There is opportunity for career advancement in this company, to a certain limit. Many new projects in which I can play a major role - maybe. Hopefully they wont keep me stagnant.

A major American company is contemplating whether they want to hire me, attractive position, attractive future benifits and salary increment, start salary almost the same mediocre amount I get now. More challenging job, need brains for this one. Perhaps I need to use some of it anyhow.

*sigh* Which is the wisest decision?

There is no wisest decision. I chose each and everyone of the jobs above, there's no deciding on the one I like best. I like them all. They all have their pros and cons.

Seems like they're all equally good. What should I do?


Thing about asking my dad is that he will not advise, he will dictate. Nevertheless, his advice is important to me.

This is a good time for advice. Lord knows I need it!